Two of my married friends decided to move to Arizona where they had vacationed several times before.
Susan Gianiodis feels the undeniable pull of Buffalo.
They enjoyed the small community, the beautiful hiking trails and the escape from the snow. They left behind the home they created together. Their backyard was amazing-a favorite spot highlighted in the Hamburg garden walk. It took years of hard work to get it to the showplace it was. They entertained on their flagstone patio in the midst of beautiful plants. Their colorful umbrellas and comfortable seating were placed in front of the fountain that provided the background music to the laughter and conversation.When they decided to move they had an estate sale. They let go of almost all of their possessions-beautiful furnishings, plants, books-everything collected over a lifetime. They sold serving dishes from holiday gatherings, garden ornaments, plants, the beautiful plush rug that laid before the fireplace, and even Bob, their giant ficus tree. They also left behind tight knit groups of friends – including our book club.
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As sociable and active as they are, they made many friends in Arizona. They decorated their new home, bought new clothing suited to the Arizona climate. They became accustomed to looking out for rattlesnakes and roaming javelinas on the trails.Why then, did they move back to Buffalo? When you have a strong sense of place, of where you just seem to “fit,” you know it is where you truly belong, where it is home. Home means friends who have that shorthand way to communicate created through years of shared history.Home is the food, sports teams and entertainment that cannot be found elsewhere. Our philharmonic, the Chautauqua Institution, our festivals, art gallery, beaches and people are unique and not easily replaced. 716 is a popular tattoo for a reason; people love and are proud to be from Western New York.People move across the country all the time for many reasons. It’s a brave decision to pull up stakes and move somewhere far away. It’s also brave to move back. Even though coming back can feel like you are a puzzle piece that fits right into the picture, there are still adjustments. Finding the right place and neighborhood, renewing ties and establishing routines all require effort.I wrote once about how I hear the voices of my parents imparting their values and wisdom, and how I try to pass on their insights and my own to my children. My daughter said it made her think of herself as one of those pictures that are composed of hundreds of tiny little pictures to create the larger image.She implied that we are the totality of our experiences, our relationships and everyone who has played a role, both good and bad, in our lives. The people, places and experiences are their own tiny pictures that are the little pieces that make us, us.According to the Gestalt theory, our brains simplify and arrange images that consist of many elements, to create a whole. We are better than you would expect from the individual pieces, because the way they combine adds a different quality making each of us unique. And now, like my daughter, I imagine we are all a collage. We are all of the places, experiences, relationships, interactions, and traditions that make up our lives. All this joy, pain, lessons, love and loss create us. As does our home.
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